WHAT THE FONT?!
I don't know if anybody else has noticed, but the damn font is different ever since I edited one of my posts the other week. Now it looks stupid! POO! I know this has happened before, but I don't know how it got changed back. Oh well, maybe it's time for a new look anyway.

I (don't) HAVE THE POWER!

Will Powern.
The strength of will to carry out one's decisions, wishes, or plans.

I learned the word 'will power' at an early age. I needed this super-human power to stop chewing my fingernails to stubs and to stop sucking on my fingers (some people suck a thumb. Me, I went for the gusto and chomped middle and ring finger of the right hand). I needed will power to stop twirling my hair into knots. I always needed it and couldn't manage to dig it up from anywhere inside.

Yes, it's true. I'm weak. I have been this way since birth I swear.

Although I have managed to stop with the endless fingernail chewing. It's been a year and currently only the thumbs have been gnawed to bits. My pointer finger on the left hand is a casualty of my compuslive behavior only because I had a snag with no nail clipper in sight. So I've got that going for me...

It's scary how very little control I have. I wasn't born with it. It's something I have to consciously muster from my own soul. I can't walk away from a cookie in much the same way that I can't walk around the block for fun as often as I know I should. There isn't alot of t hings I do for my health that I know I should. It's not that I don't care, I just haven't found the strength to keep up the things that I start. I know I have a problem with this, and I'd like to fix it.

Stupid will power! It intimidated me when I was younger and I didn't fully understand the meaning of the word. I didn't realize it would follow me as I got older. Some things just come easy for people. Some things require constant effort for others. It isn't fair - that's for sure.

Health Evangelism
My sister Sandy enjoys being healthy. She loves the energy and tiny clothes that are all a part of being slim and trim. She eats fruits and vegetables and drinks juice. She doesn't like things that hurt the environment and she doesn't like things that are wasteful. She likes the idea of recylcing. She is organically charged and naturally beautiful.

Some of us, on the other hand aren't. And probably won't be. Ever.
And that is okay.

Sometimes our healthevangelism becomes like a religion.

AND I AM NOT YET HEALED!