A WHOLE NEW WORLD

Mood: Conflicted
Watching: The sprinkles on the pavement outside

Transitional...Destiny

Today has been a contradiction for me. It was a wonderful day. Beautiful with almost perfect weather (cloudy at the appropriate moment, raining when it should) and the best temperature. The borderline long sleeved days are the best.

We did laundry at the laundromat and had to compete for washers and dryers. We were going to do it yesterday but after a delicious supper at the Peacock Alley, we were too stuffed to do anything but watch Nick at Nite and cuddle. I'm glad we got the laundry accomplished though. It's nice to have a big muscley boy to help carry in the baskets. :)

We also went to Hillside and sat on our bench for awhile. September 14, 2003 we sat atop the hill on a bench and made plans for our future. We decided that we were going to hold on to whatever we were building, even though at times he was going to be hundreds of miles away. It was all right though because we needed our space for awhile anyway. Phone calls and letters seemed the most appropriate way to lay the foundation for something that would last.

And it has proven to be the best idea we could have imagined. Almost a year later, sitting on that bench, we reminisced over the way our lives have both changed since that warm fall afternoon. We no longer reside in separate states, we're cozied up in the same tiny apartment with 6 crazy fish, 2 bikes, a gazillion plants, and many other things we've gathered in our time together. We've gone from friendly to passionate and from comfortable to ... well even more comfortable. Inseperable, best friends and a support that doesn't compare to anything else.

The biggest change of our lives has yet to appear on this earth, however. In 7 months we're going to be parents. I've been holding on to this one for awhile. I wanted the time to revel in it myself - and get used to the idea. The last 2 weeks with Rob have placed me beyond comfortable and far into excited. I've lost control over a part of me that I have prided myself in knowing so well. I've been through the morning sickness and the afternoon sickness, I've also struggled with a few bouts of the 4am sickness as well. Although I haven't been throwing up, I just get terribly weak when I need to have something in my tummy. My chest has grown, not immensely, but enough to need some new appliances to keep them up and sturdy. My pants are tighter and there is a little bump low down below my waistline. I'm changing, and it's fantastic.

This revelation came along during my post-op Dr. visit the day after Rob left for work in July. It wasn't great timing, but it was timing enough for him to realize the job he needed to do as far as our financial needs were concerned. And that's where I'm conflicted today.

8 weeks from now he'll return. He headed out the door not more than half an hour ago for Billings to work with Liquid Engineering again. I didn't want him to go, I still don't want him gone and I'm trying my hardest to be supportive because I know it's not easy on him either. He is doing what is best for us (all of us) and I respect him so much because of it. Today is my best day and my worst day. My saddest moment and my proudest one. As a future parent, I have a feeling this won't be even close to the last time I'm afflicted with those same feelings. And that excites me too.

So, after giving the baby some kisses and goodbyes, he left to be the supportive, responsible parent he's destined to be. My best friend and partner in crime. I miss you already, baby.

... In Other News ...

Because of the fabulous legal system we have in this country, I have been randomly chosen for jury duty. I'm actually pretty excited about the idea of it because I am very interested in the legal process and have always wondered what it would be like. According to my summons (how important-sounding!) I have to be there on the 17th, which is nice because I have the 16th off from work to do the family thing for Sandy's wedding.

Speaking of the wedding, I haven't found a damn thing to wear for it. Rachael and I are going shopping early this week to find something suitable and somewhat flattering. Although in my current bloated, uncomfortable state, a big jacket would work quite nicely.

But anyway, that was alot of rambling in one post, and I'm certain I'll have plenty of time to update in the near and not-so-near future. Check out the skies Wednesday night/Thursday morning. One of the better Perseid meteor showers is approaching. I'm pretty pumped!

I guess we REALLY had better win the lottery huh?... Criminy.

Off to clean the fish tank. Oh boy!