BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND

Mood: Tipsssssy & Contemplative
Listening To: 3 Days Grace - I Hate Everything About You

Yee Freaking Haawww

I haven't updated in awhile. Duh. That's so obvious.

As a good friend of mine would say "I know, right"
MUAH.

Anywhore - lots has been going on and maybe I haven't udpated because sometimes a good whine isn't necessarily what this blog needs. Oh well. I'm ready to let loose now. Booyah grandma.

WENDY NEEDS DENTAL WORK

I've had problems with my jaw for awhile now. For at least 2 years as far as I can remember. Lately it has been starting to get hinged and stuck. So when I was at the dentist in the beginning of March for a scheduled cleaning, my dentist suggested that I become the focus of his "study group" with other dentite type of peoples in the area. He called me back that next Monday and suggest I see an orthodontist first.... So I went to see Dr. Jesperson, who suggested that I needed braces AND oral surgery. He recommended me to Dr. Iero - a really cool, young and enthusiastic Oral Surgeon. He thought my bite and jaw was a "cool case"... and sent me back to the Orthodontist for a consult on braces because I needed them first. Low and behold it turns out my stupid insurance doesn't cover Dr. Iero as a Network doctor so I was re-recommended to Dr. Koorbusch, another oral surgeon who the orthodontist obviously doesn't have as much faith in, and who, unfortunately, I won't be able to see until April 22nd. If and when he decides to do the surgery, we will then see if it can be submitted to my medical insurance for full coverage. The orthodontics will be all on me, unless of course by a small miracle, it will be covered under medical too. So there's where I sit. Braces cost $950 down and $160 a month for 16 months. The down payment will be a bitch, but I'm more than halfway there. It all depends on what the surgery will be like.... so I sit and hold my breath until this all gets figured out. I also dream about it and worry about it constantly. I'm sick of living in pain and discomfort. I want to get this fixed. I'm very passionate about it.

Aside from that crap, things have been going okay. Rob and I went to Minot on Saturday night and spent the evening with Jeanna and we headed over to a bar in Minot - it was such a good time. The drive home sucked though. 100 miles isn't much unless you're hung over. I could only drive half-way. Rob had to take over the rest and then we took a nap when we got home. Zoinks.

I've learned in the past few days that things aren't ever going to be like they used to be. And I mean that in the best possible way. I shouldn't be afraid to voice my concerns. I shouldn't be afraid of negative reactions or even anger. Things are different and our lives are better - I shouldn't feel the need to cower underneath my own beliefs or opinions. It might take awhile to get used to this, but at least I understand. I'm in a different place, and I'm in a BETTER place. I'm with a person who genuinely cares about my feelings. A person who genuinely cares about ME. I am so damn greatful. Now, if only I could get used to it.

We got new pictures developed last week. I need to post those mother bitches. They're cute pictures.

I went out with Marina tonight. I needed some girlie time, and we had a good time playing some lousy pool and waiting for our songs to be played. We also bought $20 in pulltabs and won 2 stupid bucks. Weeeee...and then we bought 2 more pull tabs and flat-out lost.

I saw an old teacher today. He supported me through a crisis. When I decided I didn't want to do 'design' as a career for the rest of my life, he supported my interest in writing and web design. He helped me realize that art is art no matter what it is and as long as it comes from somewhere deep inside yourself. He asked me if I was still writing and doing web design, and it struck me - ... I AM doing both, but not as much as I'd like.

Maybe I'll take that inspiration today as something positive and put it towards something good. I know what moves me and I know what interests me. I just wish I could find that button that turns that part of me on all the time. I know it's out there.