Let's Cruise Around My Brain...

For awhile.

Seatbelts may be necessary. *click*

Wednesday morning phone call: Immediate rescue.

I was torn up and relieved and excited and sad all at the same time. I had just woken up but it took all I had to not crumble in to tears at 9:50 in the morning when all I heard was a simple hello. A simple hello that meant more to me than anything could ever at 9:50 in the morning.

Hello, you could be my happy. You could change the direction of my day.

And everything cleared up, and for a few blissful minutes... I was okay

I think I can be stronger than I give myself credit for. I think many people know this. I think I need to start believing it more often.

Cue Michelle Branch "Are You Happy Now"...

I didn't fucking choose for my life to go this way. That decision was made for me. And excuse the shit outta me for making the best of it. Pardon my existence for getting better every single day I have to face without the pain that was placed in front of me. I'm doing okay. I get to relive everything that happened - but I come out of it with a better understanding. It's liberating. The biggest mistake I made was letting myself lounge around on the tracks waiting for the train to come. Fuck that selfish bullshit. I can't handle another setback.

Yeah, I'm angry. I'm also hurt and sad and confused... but mostly angry. It's easier that way.

And *scene*

Me and Loo are FUCKING HOT

So we got some wild child "haven't drank together in over a week" hairs and decided to head to the Comfort Inn for a few cheap, burnt, nasty ass drinks. I still have no idea what it was the bartender made for my second drink, but I think my tastebuds were too numb by that time to care. It was a good time. Could have been more exciting but some people have to work at 6am - and we'll accept that for now.

*hint hint*

We sat at the bar chugging (realistically choking) our drinks down and bullshitting. She likes Ass Hat, and I think she's damn irresistable too. We didn't notice the man in the "Tommy shirt" leaving...until he called for us 20 minutes later from another hotel.

Umm...ew. Yeah that was interesting.

Apparently this guy - whoever the crap he was - saw us and decided to call us because he's "shy". He works at the Tesoro refinery and I wonder how often this trick of his works. Because as soon as I hung up the phone me and Loo were outta there. Scram. It was a good idea. Once I heard "Do I gotta come back down there" I knew it was time to take off. We were both conveniently done with our drinks too. Score.

So yay! ... Weird "shy" guys think we're cute. Isn't that just bong? ... Ummm.... scary.

...

Tomorrow (er today) is Hot Rob's 23rd birthday. HAPPY BWOFDAY!! (k)

...

Randomosity

I am going to Cristy's 9:30 appointment ... and hopefully we'll get to find out whether I am getting a niece or a nephew. I'm excited as hell. Either way I get to be an aunt and how fucking cool is that?! Yee hoo!

It's funny to see ex-boyfriend's pictures on Hot or Not.

I really really reaaaaally love the lyrics to Limp Bizkit's "Eat You Alive"... So raunchy and yet... I dunno. I dig 'em.

I think I give up on the whole fundage to NJ thing. My god, it breaks my heart to admit it, but I don't think there's much left for me to do. I'd like someone to go with me, and it wouldn't be fun for that person unless they were a big View askew freak like me... and I dunno. I need more notice like that so I can raise some cashola. I still have the invite though - that's the big part.

I just really wanted to get my license plate signed. Damn damn damn.

Cristy and I are going to Fargo this weekend to visit Sister Sandy. That should be fun. Then Sandy, Stefan and mom are coming here next weekend. Everybody wants to gawk at the pregger belly that has become my tiny sister. It's the cutest thing in the world. I love pregnant bellies.

I still plan to get pictures of that tummy.

Well anyway - I should get my ass to bed. I have a lot of dreaming to do. And sleeping. Mostly sleeping though. My dreams seem to reside in conscious thought. Miles and miles away, but still realistic.

It's crazy I'm thinking
Just knowing that the world is round
Here I'm dancing on the ground
Am I right side up or upside down
Is this real or am I dreaming